Author Archives: jessm20

King of my Heart

  I remember singing this in church a few years back and leaving the service with angry tears burning my eyes. The church kept repeating, “You are good, good, ohhh.” I sang it with hesitation, memories flooding my brain with … Continue reading

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(Journals) Redemption

So, I’m sitting here on the couch of my new loft apartment looking out the window at the world going by below me while I drink my tea and write. The redemption of God is amazing. I can truly see … Continue reading

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My White Flag

After a week of frustration in my mind, I went to Barnes and Noble to get books for the LSAT. To prepare for law school and try to make my life move in some direction other than “out of control.” … Continue reading

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Here am I

I don’t know if I’ve ever given such a pure and unadulterated cry of, “lead me to the cross.” And just knowing how human I am, I’m still not sure my desperation has led me to complete purity in that … Continue reading

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this too shall pass

I’m finally seeing the light again. Whew. That tunnel was long. And dark.  I honestly didn’t know if it would end. I’m realizing things I should and shouldn’t do to keep me in the light. Alive.  Feeling like I can … Continue reading

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Fully Alive : Part 2

It pains me so much to talk about eating disorders in connection to myself. I wish I could say it’s not due to shame, but it completely is. I hate the selfishness of bulimia, the vanity and insecurity that guides … Continue reading

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Fully Alive : Part 1

A lot of people go to Africa either to find God or to serve Him. I came for neither, but I’ve ended up experiencing both. It breaks my heart that God still speaks to me after all I’ve done. There … Continue reading

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